Envy me!

The summer is a lovely time where teachers everywhere have a licence to sleep late, watch lots of television and read things beyond crappy sophomore papers. This can be wonderful for the first 48 hours or so then the inevitable guilt of time suckage kicks in and one is charged with ways to make the days more fulfilling. With various lunches planned with friends that have real jobs and gym workouts that needless to say often get skipped, I decided it was time to have a massage.

I scheduled an appointment for midday at Massage Envy, new chain of masseurs in the Bay Area. The first full hour Swedish massage is only $39 which is great. The idea is that you fall so in love with the place that you become a member and pay $49 a month which gets you a monthly massage and as many additional ones that you would like for the original low price. It is actually not a bad deal.

After arriving at my appointment and filling out paperwork explaining that I have no strange ailments that will impair my luxurious experience, Robin an older woman from Levittown New York escorts me to the private dim lighted room where she asks me to strip down and slip under a warm sheet. When she returns from her momentary disappearance she asks me if I would like my face and scalped down. I figured what the hell.

The soothing music and firm touch of Robin were great until she got to my legs. The idea is that I am to lay there like a rag doll and allow her to manipulate my body as needed. In the middle of her moving my legs around she stops and says "Are you a control freak?" Coming out of my relaxing trance replied, "Not really." You seem to be having trouble letting your legs go." I of course think to myself the array of witty comments that many of my friends would snicker in this moment but with little explanation to provide to her inquisitive mind, I say, "I am not meaning to." Now, Robin is the one that snickers and without missing a beat she says, "Ah a passive aggressive one, well try your best to make like Raggedy Ann then, and I will work around it."