Little Jaws

One of the things that stresses me out more than anything about being a parent is when my kid does something that is so far outside of the social norm that I cringe with shame. I am working on it. It's hard to compartmentalize to understand that your children are their own people and as they grow older they have the ability to make their own choices. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good.

I certainly do not my encourage child to smack a kid or bite a child or pull someone's hair, but when she does I feel like the worst mom in the world. I feel like I am being judged and people are saying things about how awful and out of control my kid is. Of course all of that is learned from her  misguided parents that are clearly doing something wrong. The reasonable rational part of me understands that other parents likely understand, but the emotional part of me feels badly.

On Saturday at the splash pad party, Lydia bit someone. It's the first time she has done that. She got mad. I didn't see it happen, but as everything unfolded I heard her name as the biter. I asked her. She admitted to it immediately. She said she wanted her balloon, and though balloons are a high commodity at 2 1/2, it was not okay. She apologized and sat in time out. We talked about why that was wrong. She cried. She sat some more. Later that night before bed, I asked her about it again. She remembered what she had done but I am not sure she really understood that it was wrong. I had the same conversation again. Biting is wrong. We do not bite friends. Teeth are for eating. Teeth are for smiling. Teeth are for brushing. If we feel upset, come find mom.

The lingering fear now is that it will happen again. That this is the beginning of an epidemic. She is starting school in the Fall and I imagine the music track of a horror film with a mini little 21/2  year old Jaws eating all her classmates. How do I ensure that it stops there? How do I know if she really understood? What is that balance between talking to your child about appropriate behavior and giving her ideas? I always struggle with wanting to over do it. Wanting to talk more about whatever the situation is, but having to remember that she is only 2 1/2.

Dell Homes Park

We visited Dell Homes Park on Saturday to celebrate a very special little girl's 3rd birthday, Lydia's bestie, Holland. The park is located on the shores of Lake Maggorie on the south side of St. Pete.


It is a huge park with picnic areas and shelters with grills. There is a ginormous playground area that is fenced in. There is every kind of equipment imaginable for younger or older kids. There are fun climbing things and little huts for kids to sit in under the shade.



Litdell Holmes Jr. served as the city's park director for 20 years. The memory of his dedication to the city was encapsulated by this enormous cutting edge park. The quiet neighborhood that houses the park also has a gazebo, fishing pier, putting green and fitness trail.



The park is also the home of the only splash park in St. Pete. The kids loved it. Squirts, sprinkles, showers all over! This is a huge draw to families which was evident on this hot day by the bunches of people that were there today.



It's a great park. The only downfall is that it is THE splash park for the southern half of Pinellas county. And the next nearest one in Pinellas is Largo, or Dunedin. The other option is Tampa. Splash parks are a sort of new hip trend but its a brilliant idea in Florida. Because of the location of Dell Homes I would rarely go there to fight crowds for some splashing, but for those close by it is a really nice recreation area.



At the end of our visit the Polar Cup guy was near our car which made Eliot's day. He loves an icy. I have admit it was a delicious end to a fun hot day.


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The Pier: Not Stopping the Lens!

All over St. Petersburg people have planted signs in their yard that say "Stop the Lens!" Periodically over the last few months outside of various shopping establishments there has been people asking if I was registered to vote in Pinellas County so I would sign the petition to "Stop the Lens!" For a significant chunk of time, Eliot and I didn't even know what the Lens was and would make a menacing voice when we saw the signs. We looked it up and decided we didn't really care about the Lens and continued with the funny voices mocking the signs propped up all over town.

The Pier is not a historical monument. It wasn't built as a memorial. It was the best idea on the table and opened in 1973. 40 years does not make a reason to keep a structure that is actually sinking for all intents and purposes. The patch of land that holds the pier has held a pier of some kind for a long time, 1889 was the first to be erected. To be honest, I wish the new plan was more reminiscent of that structure than the space aged looking thing that is on deck, but I don't really care that much.

There are some things that define a city that are iconic like the Arch of St. Louis, the Empire State Building in New York, Washington monument in DC, but the pier isn't our thing. For most of my life which began, 1976, only a few short years after this building was built, downtown St. Pete was a high crime, high homeless area of town. That wasn't always the case. My grandmother worked 30 years at Maas Brothers, a beautiful 3 story with a basement elite department store, but the store died with the death of the downtown. So the pier that is there now, has gone through hundreds of vendors and several dozen restaurants. It has an over priced tiny aquarium. Therefore, it isn't our thing. St. Pete has a charm and majesty to it that isn't represented by foe boat building that hasn't really meant much to most people, evidenced by the lack of frequent visits the residents have made there.

I am excited for the opportunities that the new structure will bring. My hope is that it will reflect the growth and prosperity of our current downtown. I hope that it enriches the life rather than posses some small iota of nostalgia. And though I am hopefully for the new, I did want to take a second to appreciate a piece of hometown that has been there since my childhood. I remember that in high school my boyfriend took me there on a date. He was being sweet and a was a little nervous so he accidentally locked his keys in the car while it was still on. It still makes me smile. He wasn't too happy about it. I remember Alessi bakery being there and going with my parents to get ice cream and walk around looking across the Bay.

Albert Whitted Airport Playground

God has blessed our patch of Florida with what can only be described at unprecedented exceptional weather. It has been sunny and warm during the day and down right pleasant some, being me, may even say charming in the evening. In our attempt to continue on our Summer Park Quest we ventured out to downtown. I also wanted to take a few pictures of the Pier before it's flattened which will be the subject of another blog along with the Stop the Lens movement that failed.  Regardless, we ended up at the Albert Whitted Airport Playground.

This playground shares the land on the famous site of the Albert Whitted Airport which is the home of the very first scheduled flight in 1914. This remarkable historical treasure now serves recreational pilots, the Honda Grand Prix,  and the home of the restaurant the Hangar that has floor to ceiling windows allowing for a great view over your meal.  On a corner of the land the created a park with a playground. A spectacular playground with a very fun airport theme. I have to say, Lydia loves the playground, every time we have been there. The mix of traditional elements like slides, swings and climbing apparatus plus the tall watch tower, vehicles to ride and your own flight track makes for imaginative play and an all around fun time.

The playground is fenced in and there are several areas that have shade for grown up or babies. Yesterday we took a blanket and Vivian and I played on there for a bit before she was clearly ready to explore more options. There are two play structures, one for 2-5 year olds and the other for 5-12. Both are in the shape of airplanes.

 

 

The view is spectacular with the marina and pier in the distance. At this time of day, it was refreshing to be there. In the middle of the day, the shady areas are quite a bit less shady and the heat is intense, but on this May evening night there were no complaints. Other than from Lydia, who really didn't want to leave.

 

 

Mindful Moments

Being mindful isn't always easy. I have been working on this quite a bit this year, putting down the cell phone, having the electronics turned off and enjoying the moment. Obviously the most significant moments are with my girls but lately I have been thinking that the moments also include my parents and friends. When the time comes that my parents are no longer here, I can look back and feel that I appreciated the collection of moments that life did give me and the ones with my kids with them.

The challenge is not so easy. I can turn off the physical television just fine, but it's turning off my head or turning off the desire to look something up quickly on the phone that is the hard part. I remember in the 90's when it was okay not to have the answer to something. We could go on with conversation without knowing right then who the lead singer of Wham! was off the top of our heads. We would wake people up before we would go go, now we just send a text before we head out. We have changed culturally. The intention to slow our minds down is a difficult one.

Last night, after we had gone to an appointment, then to swim, back home for dinner, then baths, we had a little time to sit. Together. Lydia was sliding on the couch laughing and Vivian was cruising on the edge. She would pull herself up and walk from one side of the couch to the other trying to catch Lydia. They were both squealing and giggling. I would take these profound deep breaths hoping to use their laughter as part of the oxygen that would pump through my body. Soaking in the moment. Hoping that their silliness would become one of those memories that would flash in my head for ever.

There is literally a difference between how I feel when I am being mindful, then when I am being thoughtless. The Buddhist principle of mindfulness is a practice I share with my students. We take tangerines and smell them. We look at their orange color and round shape. We notice their weight nestled in the palm of our hands. We peal them open and listen to the wrapper of the tangerine being removed and eventually we taste them. Enjoying every second of the tangerine. Thinking only of the tangerine. Until the sweet fruit is gone. I feel relaxed and whole when I do this with my students and fruit, but I feel fulfilled when I do this with my family as they are my very own breath of life.

Thus the challenge is a real one. One to consider everyday. Every moment. Watching them learn. Watching them grow. Listening to their laughter and making it into the life force that resonates within, even when the world surrounds you immediate demands.