Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Hump Day

Today is day three of going back to work. Though work itself is lovely. The students are great and the colleagues are a pleasure, but I would still rather be home with Lydia. Not terribly surprising. People keep saying it will get easier over time and so far I have to say I disagree. It still sucks. I enjoy my job and I enjoy contributing to the lives of teenagers through teaching but I would rather be home. Lydia has been holding up well. She has had a great time with her grandparents and yesterday her dad. Both send me texts and pictures, but it seems like by the time I get home she needs a nap and then the couple hours together before bedtime fly by until the next few hours the next day. I too have been okay. I am not much of a crier, so leaving isn't too bad. I crank up NPR to drown my sorrow and  happily teach my classes. Then speed home at the end of the day.

Today particularly I am a little fuzzy because the various middle of the night snacks Lydia needed. For months we have been giving her a large bottle of formula before bed because of the folklore that it is more filling and well I have no major evidence to the contrary because she was sleeping a consistent 6 hours without needing anything. Since I started school and I am away from her I am suppose to nurse all the time when I am with her to ensure the production of my milk. Thus I have been nursing her to sleep. She has been going to bed about 8:30 and last night woke up at 1:30am and then again at 4:30am. She went back to sleep at 1:30 but not at 4:30, so I nudged Eliot out of bed. This should have meant that I had another hour and half to sleep but instead it was a cacophony of alarms. First the baby monitor was still on so I heard Lydia and Eliot, turned that off. Then Eliot's alarm...hit snooze. Then mine...hit snooze. Then his then mine this his then mine. I finally woke up in the middle of the bed with my arms extended towards the waking devices and got out of bed. Sigh. Needless to say, I am tired.
Afternoon Nap
In the morning, I nurse her then pump. When I get home I nurse her. Before her bedtime, I nurse her and pump again. What I still haven't found the time to do is pump at work. The first couple of days I didn't have any discomfort so didn't feel the need but now I am considering the possibility of my milk production diminishing because of it. Lydia seems to have an insatiable hunger during the night and in the morning, could it be because she isn't getting enough from me?

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